++ SHR MZB ++

Tahun ni kami berlima.
Alhamdulillah.

++ BaJu RaYa oHhh BaJu RaYa ++

Tahun lepas awal2 dah shopping baju raya.
Borong kurung sampai 6pasang dari wardrobe2u.
Siap beli jeans Zara apa semua.

This yearrrr...
I have a difficult time choosing baju kurung.
Designs wardrobe cantek.
Tapi x suitable for nursing.
So memang tension la nak cari baju.
Huhu.

Ada jumpa nursing kurung yg cantekk.
Tp da sold out plk.
Arghhh!
I even browsed thru designers' collections.
Jovian n hatta dolmat.
Cantik.
Tp jovian punya size besar for xs.
Tak suke. :(
Hatta punya dah produced in massive amount.
Kang same plk semua org di pagi rayaaa.
Namo namo.
Huuuu...

Ingatkan tahun ni x payah la beli jeans baru.
Sbb slua Zara last year pakaj kejap2 je.
Then preggy kkn.
Masalahnya semua seluar jeans x kira apa brands semua dah x muatttt!!!!
So smlm g Sunway n bought two pairs of jeans.
Nanti nak tambah lagi 2helai kot.

N last nite jugak ternampak 1 baju kurung kat my favourite designer's instagram.
Cantik. Memang aku suka kalau simple yet stylish.
Tengok very limited quantity.
N dia da post for 7hours.
Try jugak email n tanya kot ada rezki.
Alhamdulillah!
Dapat la sepasang baju raya dah.
Nanti nak cari lagi 3pasang baju kurung.
Masih dlm hunting mission..

Baju Zareef n Zaras dah berlambak.
Z pon shopping melampau la this year.
Aku lah yg plg ketinggalan.
:(

N we havent decided on theme color.
Ada a few choices of colors.
So beli je dulu baju2.
Pagi raya baru decide!
Haha.

++ 360° aGaiN ++

When we had Zareef, life has changed 360°.
Now that we are having twins,
Should i say life is changing another 720°?

Phew.

My confinment experience this time around is totally different.
Sempat rasa berpantang macam org lain for 2weeks je kot.
Tu pon memang berulang ke HUKM.
Lepas mak balik..
Aku pantang ikut suka je.
Makan mmg jaga jugak.
Tp keluar malam n bertungku asal dan je.

Nak buat cemana.
Parents yg ada anak2 di nicu should understand this.

Tawakallallah.

Tu je aku pegang.
Perlu ada sacrifices.
Zareef kena duk kg for 3weeks.
N those were d longest 3weeks in our lives.
Z berulang setiap ari from PD-umah-hukm.
Aku pantang sorg2.

Then Malisa came back with us.
A week later Zareef pon balik.
Ohoh.
Baru rasa cam nak pengsan.

Zareef ok ngan Malisa.
Tapi dia suka ciom.
So risau jgk kalau die picit badan Malisa accidentally.

Semalam balik kg n kidnap adik utk temankan kitaorg.
Ada berbaki beberapa hari lg berpantang.
Tp it seems that i hv to drive around lps ni.
Z da xde cuti..
Again...sacrifice.

I cant wait to bring Maeisya home.
Tengok geng2 ibu kembar yg dah bersalin n posted photos of their twins buat aku rasa nak nanges.
Sebab aku x sabar nk put Malisa n Maeisya side by side jugak.
D only thing that i do nowadays is collaging their pictures...

...and admiring how amazing to hv these identical twins!

Soon...soon..
Allah knows best for us..kan?
:)

++ BaBy n MoMmY ChEcKList ++

this will be a sticky post!

Baby Gear
Baby Tees SL (8)
Baby Tees LS (6)
Romper (2) -
Baby Pant - Short (8)
Baby Pant - Long (6)-

bought a number of outfits dahhhh. cukup Liya!

Booties (5) - a pair each. opah yg beli. nak tambah lagi.
Mittens (5) - 10pairs. 5 pairs each.
Baby Bip (2) - tak payah. pengalaman mengajar.
Baby Handkerchief (3)- done. Aden+Anais. beli kat Mothercare.
Barut (10)- Zareef's punya ada. opah belikan 2pieces. mommy is planning to get yg corak2 ones.
Receiving Blankets - done. 1 each. 
Topi-rasa macam tak perlu.

Diapering
Fabric Nappy (1 pack- 1 dozen)- done. dah ada 2packs. cukupppp.
Disposable Diapers (2 packs)- done 1 pack. Drypers.
Diaper Wipes (2 packs)- done. siap dah beli refill.

Changing Mat- done. sponsored by Auntie Sabil. Mothercare.
Diaper Rash Cream- done. Earth Mama Angel Baby

Baby Detergent for Washing- Pureen ABD [org kata wangiii]- done.

Baby Care & Grooming
Baby Powder-  done. Mothercare Liquid Talc
Baby Lotion- done. Earth Mama Angel Baby 
Baby Oil- belom. macam tak perlu?
Tissue- done
Hair Brush- done. Mothercare Ergonomic set.
Cotton Bud - done. Mothercare.
Nail Clipper- done. Mothercare Ergonomic set. 

Nasal Aspirator- done. Mothercare Ergonomic set. 

Thermometer - done. Little Bean
Minyak Telon- done ordering.  Amway Baby Oil.

Nursering
Blanket- belom.thinking of JJ Cole Muslin. MC
Bedding Set- Zareef punya tapi tempah sarung baru je kot nanti.
Kelambu - dah ada kat kg.
Bakul Baby  - done. Diaper Caddy B.box


Feeding
Bottle S (2) - tak nak beli lagi. bagi test teat Tommee Tippee nanti.
Puting Botol Susu (2)- SDA
Silicone Bottle Brush- done. Anakku.
Sterilising Tablet- belom.

Bathing
Towel- done. Mothercare. (3pcs)
Bath Tub-  Zareef punya ada. kalau nak beli pon Baby Deluxe Bather from Summer Infant
Shampoo- belom. Sebamed.
Body Shampoo-  belom. Sebamed.

Travelling
Bag Baby-  done. Diaper Bag MBMJ
Baby Warmer for Bottle-  done. Tommee Tippee
Bottle Sterilizer - belom. kalau ada duit lebih beli la. not urgent for now.

Confinement (Mummy)
Extra care - Nipple cream -  done. Earth Mama Angel Baby

Extra care - Bottom spray/Csect Cream - Earth Mama Angel Baby Bottom Spray 

Jamu- done ordering Shaklee. cadang nak tambah minyak Herbanika Nona Roguy n sabun Mandi Tanamera.

Socks- done. 6pairs.
Blouses- pakai je apa ada.
Panties - SDA
Bra- done. nak tambah nursing bras kot.
Towel- no need to buy
Bengkung- dah ada dulu punya.
Pad-  done. Mothercare.

Miscellaneous 
Bbox Baby Essential Box - done.
Swaddle Pod
Swaddle Wrap Summer Infant
Swaddle Muslin JJ Cole/Aden+Anais

Hospital Checklist (Yet to start packing)
Blouses (5)-
Socks (2)-
Kain Batik (3)-Panties (5)-
Bra (2)-
Towel-
Pad (6)-
Face Towel-
Disposable Baby Diapers (6)-
Toothbrush-yes
Air Selusuh
Minyak Angin-
Plastic Bags-
Nursing Pad (4)
Sweater
Baju Baby (4)-
Minyak Telon-
Baby Wipes
Hair brush
Facial Cleanser-up to u
Mosturiser-
Slipper-
Air Zam Zam

++ d aWaiTeD aRriVaL ++

On the 22nd day,
D team of doctors in nicu has decided to discharge Malisa.
But mommy requested to postpone one day.

So Malisa was discharged on Thursday.
We had to leave Maeisya.
But Z will go visit her everynite.

1st nite with Malisa was quite challenging.
She woke up evey 1hour.
I seriously felt like a zombie.
Tambah lagi 3nites before i roomed in with her in nicu.
Mmg x ckup tdo.

But i think i know what she wants.
She wants to sleep on my chest.
So last night i slept very close to her n she slept well thru d nite!
Ini sebjik perangai abg Zareef masa dlm confinement.

I wonder wut would happen to me bila Maeisya dah balik nanti.
Haha.

Btw,last week i received d letter of agreement from KN.
Alhamdulillah.
Rezeki besar utk kami sekeluarga.
It is beyond my expectation...
:)

Terima Kasih Ya Allah.

++ MiRaCLe MoMeNt ++

Dah 2weeks+ baru rasa nak menulis balik pengalaman bersalin kembar.
Ni pon sbb dah makin hlg details of the event.
Banyak urat putus agaknya.huu...

Tues (4/6/13)
Admitted sbb ngadu kat doc yg 2nd twin kurang gerak.
Details of d story ade kat n3 sebelom2 ni.

Wed (5/6/13)
Pagi2 tu as usual a group of doctors led by Prof Norzi would do ward round.
As they approached me, Prof Norzi terus shook my hand n greeted me happily.
Again, she said "congrats,u have made it this far! Alhamdulillah!"
She told d group of docs yg ada kat situ how she had always given me poor prognosis n almost zero hope thruout my pregnancy.
My case was totally rare n bizzare to her.
>50% discrepancy in sizes from w18.

i asked Prof Norzi kalau boleh discharge on that day.
Prof Norzi cakap tak boleh. I would be admitted sampai deliver.
She said we had taken a lot of risks to drag my pregnancy up to w31.
So dia betol2 nak monitor n make sure i deliver d twins safely.
She even instructed me to start fasting from 12 midnight sampai pagi.
Kalau ada ventilator (waktu tu ada isu ventilator sume penuh), they would prepare me for csect.
Kalau x ada,boleh makan macam biasa.

So i stayed in d hospital.
Wondering to myself bila la agaknya boleh keluar.
That night, Z x datang visit.
I wanted to hv my dinner,
Tapi nasik tumpah atas katil.
Perot lapar, so i munched a packet of biscuts.
Dlm kepala dah susah hati macam mana nak puasa from 12am kalau dinner tak makan.
N ada rasa x sedap hati.
So lepas solat isyak terus baca surah maryam n solat hajat.
Sepanjang preganancy aku selalu buat solat hajat, n that nite i had a feeling yg mcm itu solat hajat terakhir sblom bersalin.
Pujuk hati utk tdo.
Ajaibnya x dela rase kebulur ke apa malam tu walaupun x makan nasik macam selalu...

Thurs (6/6/13)
Woke up before 7 n terus solat subuh.
Habiskan surah maryam yg x sempat habis semalam.
Again, i had a funny feeling that morning.
After subuh ingat nak mandi.
Tp tengok doc dah mula buat ward round.
So i decided to wait for my turn.
N ada nurse dtg nak buat CTG.
Masa tgah buat CTG nurse panggil 2org doctors lain to assist her sebab something was wrong with d readings.
They discussed something.
Smiled awkwardly at me n told me to wait for Prof Norzi.
Prof Norzi came n examined d result of CTG.
Then she said d baby or babies (cant recall) was/were distress n i needed to go for emergency csect immediately.

I was totally in shocked.
I asked abt d ventilators.
Mmg x ada kosong lg.
But then becos the baby was distress, they couldnt send me to other hospitals.

They asked me to inform husband n prepared me for d operation.
Dah la tak mandi.huu.
They changed my outfit, put on d shower cap,
n put on d catherer.
Mmg takut gila masa nak pasang catherer sbb org cakap sakit sgt.
I asked d nurse to be gentle.
Alhamdulillah tak sakit.
Just a feeling of uncomfortable je.

I called Z.
He was at home.
My family pon mmg kat umah dah time tu.
But they were all unprepared as well.
Z tgh tdo.
Bila btau nak kene operate dah,
die siap tanya,"syg main2 ke?"
Haihhh.

I asked him to come to d hosp ASAP.
pastu dengar dia cam ngelabah.
Lepas hang up nurse bg ubat tak sedap.
X tahu utk ape.

I was wheeled to d OT.
Perasaan bercampur aduk.
Dah la sorg2.
Mentally n physically unprepared.
But i was lucky i didnt eat a lot d night before.
Ada hikmahnya nasik tertumpah.

I jumped d queue untuk masuk OT.
Sbb kira my case should b prioritized time tu.

Sampai OT, i needed to change bed.
Da la ade catherer tergantung tu.
I was so anxious n nervous.
Ada pakar bius datang n explained d procedures which i cant remember now.
N nurse dtg bawak documents to sign.
Patutnya hubby atau waris yg sign. But since i was all alone, so sndiri sign.
Ha-ha.
T-T

N then they pushed me to d white room with big lamp.
Haha.
Mcm dlm tv tu.
I think my mind was numb on that morning.
Sbb tengok sume org dlm tu bz preparing everything.
I dunno whether to cry or what.
Mcm dah x tau nak rasa apa.

But bila teringat Zareef...
Hati jadi sebak.

Pakar bius dtg.
Then they helped me to sit straight.
A pillow was given.
Doc ckp peluk bantal tu kuat2.
Die nak cari nerve ke ape tah to inject me.
Nak bg bius separuh badan tu.
Again i was so scared sbb org kate sakit.
Two nurses helped me to bend down.
Aku peluk tgn sorg nurse tu.
Tp alhamdulillah.. X sakit jugak.
Syukur.
N they helped me to lie back on d bed.
Pakar bius waktu tu baik sgt.
She tried to calmed me down.

Aku tanya dia,macam mana nak tau bius tu berkesan ke x.
Sbb aku slalu dgr scary stories org kene bedah mase bius tak function lagi..
Takutttt!
She asked me to wiggle my toes.
Boleh.
Tp bila dia suruh lift up d legs, terasa berat.
Then she said it meant that ubat tu tengah berjalan.

They put a cloth depan my face.
Taknak bagi tgok d whole process la kan.
Doc bius ajak aku sembang2.
But when Doc Idayu letak d knife on my tummy,
Aku rasa pedih.
Automatic aku btau dorg aku rasa pisau.
Huhu.
Then doc bius cakap,
Aku boleh rasa org raba2.
Tapi i wasnt supposed to feel d pain.
Aku cakap aku paham.
But d one i felt earlier was pain.
Doc Idayu letak n gores lagi skali.
I still felt d same pain.
So i let them know again.
Doc bius suruh doc Idayu hold on dulu.
After a minute or so,
I think i was totally sank.
So doc Idayu pon start belah my tummy n i wasnt feel pain at all.
But u can feel they were doing something to d tummy.
Doc bius was there d whole process.
She would letme know what was happening.
Sambil ajak borak2.

N she told me yg dorang dah nak keluarkan my 1st baby.
They ruptured d water bag.
Gussshhhh...
Basah air ketumban meleleh sampai ketiak aku okeh.
N d nurses pon cheered 'banjir!banjir!'

Masa dah keluarkan Malisa aku x dengar pon dia nanges.
I was a bit worried.
Doc bius cakap ada pakar kanak2 kat situ tengah handle my baby n i should not worry.
Aku cuba nak intai apa dorg buat kat baby tapi kain yg dorg letak depan muka tu mmg a big barrier la.

Then Doc Idayu keluarkan 2nd baby.
Dengar dengan jelas Maeisya cried.
Comel sgt bunyinyaaa!
Again x nampak what they were doing to both babies.

Masa nak muka stitching,
Tetibe aku rasa pening n nak muntah.
Aku btau doc bius.
So she checked my pressure n did something.
Lps tu rasa tenang skit.

Habis jahit they cleaned me up.
Masa tu dah half naked je.
N who cares?
Terpaksa jela redha sbb mmg camtu agaknya dorg buat.
T-T

Masa dorg removed d cloth depan muka,
The first thing that came into my sight was my twins.
Tapi x nampak jelas.
Ada 2 org doctors were doing something to them.
But i could hear d nurses were commenting how small they were.
800grammer - what to expect?

Before ditolak keluar,
Pakar kanak2 told me that both of them needed breathing help.
But d hospital did not have enough ventilators.
The babies will have to use yg emergency room punya ventilators.
So kalau ada case mak kena beranak macam aku,nanti d next babies tak ada ventilators at all to support the babies.
They will try to get other ventilators from other hospitals.

Perasaan adalah sedih sebab tak dapat lgsung tgok my babies.
Apatah lagi nak sentuh.

I was left for isolation dlm 30mins.
Lepas tu baru dorg wheeled me back to d ward.

Sampai ward, Z n family tak sampai lagi.
Haihhh.
Dok la aku sorg2 atas katil.
Nurse dtg n btau aku x boleh bangun for d 1st 6hours.
X boleh terus makan.
Kena minum air ksong dulu. Then kalau x muntah boleh try milo.
N kalau boleh trima milo, boleh try makan porridge.
Masa time Zareef dulu aku ingat lagi aku muntah banyak kali after bersalin.
Tp kali ni alhamdulillah Allah mudahkan sumenye.
Aku x muntah langsung n nurse n doc terkejut aku dah makan porridge ptg tu...

Aku kol Z n btau aku dah abes operate pon.
Lepas 15min dorg sampai.
Z n mak muka sayu je sbb aku sorg2 d whole process.
Aku suruh Z tengok twins kat bawah n get some updates.

Itulah pengalaman bersalin secara csect.
Everything happened so fast.
Mmg x rasa sakit masa tu.
Tp post pain dia aku tak boleh lupaaaa.
Biarlah bersalin normal pada aku.

Now dah 2weeks.
Kadg2 sakit masih terasa.
Cuma x macam 1st few days tu la..
Huu scaryyyy!

Malisa n Maeisya,
If one day u two read this,
Mama wants u to know that everything worth it when i delivered both of u to d world.
It was a battle. A gamble.
And mama n papa are proud that we made d right decision n be firm with it.

Zareef, Malisa n Maeisya r d most precious gifts from Allah.

Psst: x tahu la akan bertambah lagi atau x lepas ni. Rezeki Allah, aku terima seadanya... :)

++ DaY 10 ++

I wish i have d time to blog about d day i delivered my twins.
Even d babies are not around,
I am still struggle to express d milk n with d frequent visit to nicu.
Kena tulis jgk ni takut lupa plk nanti.

I am here in hukm.
Baru lepas visit little zaras.
Alhamdullillah.
Sekarang both of them are trained to breath by themselves.
No more breathing apparatus attached on the body.
Malisa is weighing at 1.6kg; Maeisya is 780gms.
Ada slight decrease in weight which is normal according to them.

I have started d kangaroo care with both of them yesterday.
Macam x pecaya.
After 9days baru dapat cuddle n hold my little ones in d arms.
Puas ciom n peluk.
=)

Hari ni tadi nurse cakap dah boleh train Malisa on direct feeding.
Tapi Malisa x pandai lagi.
Ade a few times she tried to suck.
Selebihnya dia tido.
Hahaha.

Maeisya pon tido lena bila we did kangaroo care td.
I cant wait to put both of u side by side.
Muka dorg sama (yela, identical twins kan).
Cuma maeisya nampak kurus.
Malisa ada pipi yg boleh dicubit.
Hehe.

Alhamdulillah.
I hope no more medical issues lepas ni.
Biarlah mereka dapat membesar dgn sihat dan sempurna.
Amin.

++ KeMBaR 3 ++

Itulah yg kawan-kawan cakap.
Hehe.
Genap 8hari lepas kelahiran Malisa n Maeisya,
Arini KN dah start buka on9 order.

Alhamdulillah.
Allah swt adalah sebaik-baik perancang.
Bertambah lagi keluasan rezeki kami sekeluarga.

Terima Kasih, Ya Allah.

++ 3 ++

10/06/10 - 10/06/13

++ ZaRaS' uPDaTeS ++

D main concern of d twins earlier was there were no ventilators available in HUKM.
D doctors had to call hospitals from south perak down to batu pahat to check for ventilators.
Tapi memang semua penuh.

So my twins were sort of 'squatting' kat Labour Room.
Amazingly,hanya Malisa yg perlukan ventilator.
D small Maeisya depending on CPAP.
So my main concern was that Malisa might be moved to different hospital kalau ada ventilator.

Yesterday morning Z wheeled me to d nicu to visit Zaras.
MasyaAllah.
Maeisya is such a tiny baby.
But then she is very active.
Malisa was sleeping n she looked a bit tired.
I couldnt stand too long.
Enduring d csect post pain was unberable.
T-T

D paed was there,
So i asked her whether Zaras will still need to be moved to other hospitals.
I cant imagine if one is sent to batu pahat,d other 1 to melaka (for example),how am i going to keep up on visiting both of them.

D doctor told me that Zaras r not going to be moved sbb both of them r on CPAP now.
Alhamdulillah.
Lega sgt2.
These two r miracle babies.

When i told Prof Norzi n d team abt d babies' conditions,
They were so happy.
Prof Norzi was a bit shocked how fast Zaras cope with d breathing problem.

Ya Allah. Ya Allah. Ya Allah.
Plz protect n ease my twin daughters' journey.
Ease their pain.
Help them gain d awaiting weight.

++ aLHaMDuLiLLaH ++

06/06/13
10-ish AM (will b updated)

I have given birth to a pair of identical princesses via emergency csect.

Everything happened so fast.
Both of my twins are having breathing difficulties but according to doctors,
They are doing fine.
I hope everything will b fine.

I havent had d chance of touching my own babies.
Dapat tengok dr jauh je.
Z dah masuk nicu n amek gambar wpon x boleh.

I will need to start walking today.
Catherer dah cabut.
Not sure how to bear with d pain.
Nak bangun duduk pon sakit amat semalam.
T-T

Will update more.

Welcome to dunya my princesses...

Nur Zara Malisa - 1.66kg
Nur Zara Maeisya - 800gms

These are d mighty fighters!

++ WeeK 31, WaRdEd n ZaReeF ++

...gambar lama yg mengundang tangisan...

Here r i am.
Being hospitalized for more than 12hours.
Couldnt sleep though.
This is my 2nd time being warded after d 1st one at Pantai Pu3 delivering Zareef.

We went for Doppler n Growth scan earlier yesterday.
Somehow d blood flow result is still d same as last week.
Twin A is now weighing at 1.8kgs n Twin B is at 747gms.
They are growing.
But later when i went down to c another doc,
I told her that somehow i feel twin B has less movements.
Andddd taraaaaaa!
Here i am.
Trus warded!
Dang!

Warded around 1pm cmtu.
They put d ctg thingy on my tummy to check the babies' heart rate.
D doc told me that i cant eat.
Coz if d result is not satisfying,
I will go thru emergency csect in d evening.
D ctg test went on for abt 1 hour due to technical issues.
Patah pinggang.
But Alhamdulillah.
D 1st result was ok.
Doc ckp boleh makan n i was d happiest mommy in the world.
Z tapau my fav lauk from kayu kandar.

After lunch,
They gave me dexa shot.
Kali ni mental wasnt as strong as d previous one.
Terasa sakitnyaaaaa.
Tp xde la nangis.
D pain subsided abt 15-20mins camtu.
But later at nite i started experiencing d post pain.
Kaki kebas.n babies mengeras semacam.
N just now i completed my 4th dexa shot at 3am.

Bila Z balik around 6-ish,
Aku dah mula rasa sunyi.
I havent talked with d neighbouring ward mates sbb dorg sume tgh sakit.
Ade yg tgh bear contractions, ada yg baru lepas deliver..n d one next to me baru balik from labour room.her hubs n relatives didnt look happy n there wasnt any bassinet being wheeled next to her.
X macam org lain yg lepas deliver trus nurses anta baby kat d mommies.

I started texting Z n cried.
D truth is,i miss Zareef n Z damned much.
These past few days Zareef was so clingy to me.
Everynite he would ask me to cuddle him n he would wrap his hand around my neck.
His nose touched my nose.
I miss him.
I miss him badly.
N i started thinking that i need to spend more time with him before d twins are delivered n absorbed every1's attention.

I was crying so bad behind d curtain that i didnt realize d nurse came in to check on me.
She was on shocked seeing me crying n started checking my tummy as she tot i had contractions.
Ha-Ha.

I know i am so fragile right now n this is not good.
Z came at 9.50 with Zareef.
He had to sneak Zareef in.
I started tearing seeing Zareef n couldnt stop kissing his face.
Z brought kfc n i enjoyed watching both of them eating.
I hugged Z while he was eating n played with Zareef at d same time.

They werent long sbb mmg bukan visiting hours.
I wanted to say a lot of things to Z but couldnt utter any words.
Peluk n ciom Zareef like mad n cried like mad.
Haihhhh.
Z kissed me trillion times n i think i wet him with my tears.

I better stop typing all this out.
Banjir lagi ward ni nnnti.

I dont know what to expect after this.
Tomorrow Prof Norzi will come check on me n explain d planning.

I still hope n pray that we can hold on to week 36.
Allah listens.
But i believe He will always have better plannings.

It is already 4.37am.
I barely slept for d past hours.
D newborn babies r crying every 10mins.
Hehe.
A training session for d future twin mommy i guess.

I was abt to sleep just now when i became sentimental all over again.
Looking at d chair Z sat d whole day n d bed Zareef sat on....hmmmm...

For d past hours, there were so many times that i felt hopeless n helpless.
It took me a few minutes to gain back my senses.
What d hell has gotten into me?
Ive been so strong before this to be here at week 31.
In fact the darlings inside are mighty fighters as well!

I have to b honest that twin pregnancy is never easy.
It has taken its toll on me.
Ive been riding d emotional rollercoaster.
One thing that i learnt is my spiritual journey has never been this absolute.
Alhamdulillah.

Till then.
I will update what is going to happen later.
Jurnal for self reference.
:)

++ WeeK 30 ++

:)

Almost 2months ago we were given so little chances that we r going to go this far.
But Alhamdulillah.
Allah hears our prayers.

Yesterday i went for Doppler n Growth scan at hukm.
Brought along a hospital bag just in case d result was not ok; i need to be hospitalized.

D blood flow to small twin is still ok.
It is just that the baby doesnt do much of growing compared to the other twin.
They are now weighing at 1.5+kgs n 640gms.
Not even half kan.
But Doc Yuli said that we can still push to week 31.

I have an instinct that we can go until week 34 at least.
but i do hope that we can still holding on to week 36.
But then again..Allah knows better.

About a month or so to go.
I guess both twins have been very strong thruout this journey.♥

Syukran.

++ WeeK 29 ++

A few more days n ill b in week 30.
Prof Suhaila n Prof Norzi are away for a conference in Europe.
They are putting me under one specialist for these 2 weeks.

My last checkup was last Monday.
It was 1hour + scan session.
They checked on Doppler Test for twin b.
Prof Suhaila said she needs to go with peace of mind.
Hehe

After 1hour+ baru dapat d result that she wanted.
Alhamdulillah.still positive blood flow.
Prof Suhaila told me that next week if d Doppler Test is not ok (hope not),
Ill be admitted n i will go thru csect.

Haih.
I hope d result is ok.
Lets fight until at least week 34 ya sayangsss!

Now it is time to pack for hospital bag!

++ WaiTiNg ++

when the doctor told me that she is not going to drag me more than W34,

it hit me straight away that the twins are going to be June babies!

andddd....

it is going to be next month!

tick tock! tick tock!

any days in June could have been the day i deliver the twins...

but deep down inside i silently hope that I would be able to keep them a bit more longer in my tummy.

at least up to early July.

mommy's womb will always be the best incubator!

n i do hope that the babies will gain more weights before i deliver them.

the idea of spending time in NICU scares me a lot.

i know the small twin will be spending some time in NICU because of the size and the problem with blood flow.

they need to monitor the small twin closely.

but again,

no matter what d doctor has expected,

i believe Allah has designed the best journey for us.

insyaAllah.

nevertheless, i need to mentally n physically prepare the arrival of the twins.

i've almost completed the checklist.

just a few more to go.

n i need to start packing my hospital bag.

i havent done that one yet.

scrap that.

i havent even started with that!

last weekend i did my first laundry trip.

this weekend, more laundry trips to be done!

oh my...

i just cant wait to have both of them in my arms.

but the idea of having them next month is just too early.

i want them to develop all the internal organs in my womb.

n i still want to enjoy the kicks, fists, punches n elbows from them.

Ya Allah,

please lead us to the best journey!

amin.

++ WeeK 28 (MGTT and DeXa sHoTs) ++

7 months!

alhamdulillah.

we are here finally.

=)

yesterday went for MGTT.

minum secawan air gula pekat.

sangat x sedap.

all mothers exchanged frowns sesama sendiri.

haha.

tapi berjaya jugak habiskan.

they took my blood samples twice; before n after.

then naik 1st floor utk buat Doppler n Growth scan for the twins.

alhamdulillah.

both babies are growing.

they showed me the graphs from previous scan.

memang babies membesar.

even the small twin pon naik berat walaupon x banyak.

i'm still thankful.

after scan, 

Prof Suhaila turun nak jumpa.

first she went thru d reports first.

lepas tu she came to us n senyum lebar.

she said both babies are growing.

she asked me to have a seat n she was telling how she is surprised with the results. [remember there was 1 time she predicted that small baby wouldnt survive]

she told me that she has no explanations for that.

but she is grateful.

=)

the power of Dua I'm sure.

now that i am at W28,

she is going to drag me to W30.

if everything is ok,

she is going to drag me until W34.

not more than that coz she is concerned about d small twin.

but then again,

who knows Allah might surprise us again, right?

oh yes. 

i got my Dexa shots yesterday.

these shots are given to fasten d developement of babies' lungs.

kalau baca pengalaman orang,

memang scary.

it scared me to death la.

first shot was scheduled at 9pm last night.

2nd shot tadi pagi 9am.

masuk ER smlm dalam keadaan takut tersangat2.

tapi alhamdulillah.

pada aku, tak sakit sangat.

no tears. 

cuma skrg experiencing sengal2 kat kaki.

post-pain la tu kot.

tak kesah la darlings.

anything the best for both of you!

my colleagues are going to get this for me:

 

yeay!

i think the most expensive bath tub that I have come across so far.

this is known as flexibath.

it is fold-able n jadi very flat.

convenient for traveling.

in conjunction with this,

i need to buy this la pulak:

yg ni murah je. 

cheapest that i have surveyed so far RM75 kalau x silap.

the reason that i need to get this bath support sebab babies lagi selamat nak mandi.

w/out bath support, 

Zareef ok la.

but for small babies, u need to have both,

it will be like this:

 

flexibath is a product from Stokke kalau x silap.

kalau x de org sponsor x beli la kot.

bising Z nanti.

ha-ha.

kalau beli senyap-senyap okla.

:p

this is how it looks like bila dah lipat.

compact n boleh bawak balik kampung!

my choice of color?

i suka red...

tp takde dalam gambar.

n tak ada kat malaysia.

:(

available colors adalah pink, purple, blue, green, white and transparent.

harga flexibath is RM168 (cheapest that i found on on9 shop)

flexibath + bath support = RM243.

till then!

 

++ tWiNs' pReP ++

Do u notice how d contents of d wardrobe differ in both pics?
Aha. Itu x tambah lagi another 6pieces of garments that i bought on Thursday n Friday.
No matter how i warn myself to focus on other necesarry things, but i ended up buying more n more outfits.

Most of the outfits mamapapa la yg beli.
Ada some my mom bought for the twins as well.
N auntie taca n auntie ayuni ada belikan jugak baju2 c kembar.
Paling byk rompers n sleepsuits mothercare.
Memang dari time Zareef dulu mama dok gila rompers.
Sejak berkenalan dgn MC baru tahu rompers for boys sgt comel2 kat cni.
Huhu.

Dresses for baby girls pon comel2 kat MC.
Adui...
Geram je tengokkkkk!

I've started my first laundry trip today.
Tadi g lunch kat JJ depan umah.
Then trus g beli Pureen ABD Laundry Detergent.
Arini basuh 20 pieces of napkins, 4 towels, mittens n booties, baby binders, nursing poncho, 2pieces of handkerchiefs, n 2 pieces of receiving blankets.
Baju2 babies nanti la pulak.huhu.

I am already in my week 28.
Alhamdulillah.
Kalau both twins boleh membesar ngan sehat dlm womb,
I hope by week 36 dah boleh jumpa these little darlings.
Ya Allah...permudahkanlah segalanya.
Amin.

++ Week 27 & MoTheRCarE ++

Week 27

masa W26 i went to HUKM.

Prof Norzi cakap my doppler result has improved.

alhamdulillah!

so W27(this week) tak ada appointment.

i'll be going for next checkup next week (W28)

next tuesday, i am scheduled for MGTT.

arghhh.

ingat boleh la skip dari minum air gula.

tapi kena jugak.

Prof Norzi cakap berat ok, umo muda.

tapi since i'm carrying twins,

dia kata ada potential dapat diabetic.

so better take the test.

1st time nak kena ni.

i'll update how it's like next week.

Mothercare

i'm sure all mothers yang ada membership kat MC tahu now ada anniversary sale.

(10th May - 12th May).

all clothing items ada 20% off. additional 10% off for MC members.

i went there yesterday.

beli baju untuk twins.(padahal cakap takmo beli dah)

n i oso bought Aden+Anais handkerchief. 

masa nak bayar baru tahu ada sales starting today!

arghhh!

nyesal betol.

so today i went there lagi.

i think staffs kat MC dah cam muka aku ni ha.

i bought two pairs of clothing items for twins n 1 shirt for Zareef.

murah jugak.

kalau ikutkan hati mesti nak beli lagi.

tapi duit adalah di paras bahaya ni.

so better stop la.

before keluar sempat usha Muslin JJ Cole.

eh. harga dia dah reduced sikit from last time.

siap ada 10% disc.

tapi nanti la dulu.

hehe.

actually not all items are worth buying kat MC.

aku dah compare a few items yg agak mahal di MC.

contohnya Summer Baby Deluxe Bather.

kalau kat MC harga dia rm109+.

kalau on9 boleh dapat rm60+.

tp kalau clothing items atau memang MC branded items,

yang tu memang tak boleh beli kat luar kan.

baju2 kat MC nampak mcm mahal.

tp kalau compare dgn brand Anakku, etc, aku rasa berbaloi lagi beli di MC.

quality materials berbeza.

n design lagi stylish.

yet, harga x beza banyak pon...

 

so aku plan raya nanti Zareef shopping banyak2 kat MC.

hehe.

twins punya outfits memang banyak from MC jugak.

ye. dah macam duta MC skang ni.

huhu.

oh yeah,

i have an update regarding TKC.

nanti buat special entry!

=)

++ BaBy ShoP SpREe ++

Well, since d last update,
Ive added more baby stuffs on d list.

I ordered 4 EMAB items from Babydash on9 shop.
The service was fast!
I got d items d next day i placed my orders.
I chose EMAB products because of d good reviews that i read on internet.
I bought two jar of Bottom Balm.
1 in 1oz n another 1 is 2oz.
Ive started using d small one for Zareef since he got nappy rash all of sudden.
I applied 3 times n d rashes/burn has gone.
Alhamdulillah.
Hope it works wonder on twins' skin as well!
Bottom Balm can also b our first aid cream.
I put d small jar in my handbag just in case.

Then on Friday i had a date with my BFF.
We went to Alamanda.
As usual, Mothercare will always b my favourite pitstop.
I grabbed MC Liquid Talc, a pack of 3pcs hooded towels n 1 cute tee for Zareef.
I also bought d silicone brush.that 1 is from Anakku.

Taca has offered to buy d sleepsuits for d twins.
I chose d 1 that ive been eyeing for quite some time.
Comellls!
Tq auntie!

I managed to apply for MC membership too.
After this more shopping at MC i guess?

Saturday Taca n i went to Shah Alam.
We stopped at One Baby World at Sec 13.
I bought 2 pieces of receiving blankets, bra extender, 500ml Thermos,a snack jar for Zareef n 4 sets of mittens.
OBW is having their annivesary sales.
Im eyeing on a few more stuffs.
Yg xde dlm list pon.
Haih.
But it is a great bargain actually.
We'll see how it goes!
:p

Now Z,Zareef n i are at Lexis Water Chalet PD.
An unplanned babymoon.
Alhamdulillah rezeki!
♥♥♥

++ DiaPeR CaDdY and oF W25 ++

assalammualaikum.

hello world!

i did my doppler test n growth check for d twins yesterday.

twin A is now weighing at 761gm, twin B 421 gm.

alhamdulillah.

twin A has normal development growth rate.

twin B memang fall behind d graph.

BUT the baby is actually gaining weight.

so d doctor said that it is still a positive development.

alhamdulillah.

d doc said that as for now,

i will continue with weekly checkup up to w28.

kalau by w28 both twins are OK,

i will be scheduled for appointment every two week.

they are now trying to push me until w34.

or atleast when both babies have good,safe weights.

but if there is any complication,

i'll have to go thru emergency c-sect.

arap2nya semua OK lah.

ni rupa perot mommy at 25th week!

my current weight is equal to my weight when i was 9month pregnant last 2years.

=)

 

 

kaki slim menyebabkan macam penguin.

T-T

of diaper caddy

so i picked up my parcel from Joan yesterday kat bangsar.

last minute purchase, i added on B.box Essential Baby Box.

haha.

dasar kan.

sebenarnya i was contemplated between pink and brown color.

biru tak masuk buku sebab tu nampak sangat gendered color.

macam pink tak semestinya utk anak perempuan.

maknya kan memang perempuan selamanya. 

jd memang suka pink.

n brown pulak nampak lagi simple.

haih.

so, 

when i got to buy both items,

i chose both colors!

haha.

this is my choice for diaper caddy:

as for essential baby box:

other available colors...

ape guna essential baby box ni?

actually kita boleh simpan wet tissues n 2pieces of diapers dlm ni.

dia macam clutch.

so boleh bawak pergi mana-mana n keep it in ur diaper bag or handbag.

dlm essential baby box ni dah ada changing mat.

so boleh guna masa travelling.

=)

it is created for mom's convenience.

size die tak besar,tapi tak la kecik sangat.

sedang-sedang.

so it seems that i need to get a new handbag yg tak berat.

my current handbag right now mmg berat kalau tak ada barang pon.

huhu.

[more reason to shop?]

actually dah 2months i didnt buy anything for myself sbb nak beli barang baby.

so bolehla beli handbag murah2 pasni.

review on B.box Diaper Caddy

1. sturdy.memang nampak tahan lasak. it is made of PU leather. i think much sturdier than JJ Cole punya.

2. d design is modern n stylish.

3. it has a drawer n removable divider. boleh ikut mom's preference.

4. i love the color, but a bit worried that it might easily stained. tp boleh lap dengan kain basah kot kalau kotor?

5. berat sket. x macam bakul bunga telur.

6. u can store a lot of things there. boleh letak 10 or more diapers n other babies' essential stuffs mcm powder, lotion, etc.

7. mobile n portable. bakul bunga telur pon portable. tp kalau pakai nappy caddy ni barang2 tetap tersusun n tak messy.

itu je kot setakat ni.

i havent had d real experience of using it. 

tp rasa seronok sebab dah lamaaaaa nak beli!

i hope u two will serve me well!

siapa-siapa yg nak beli Bbox products boleh contact Joan thru her FB.

Bbox is a brand from Australia.

i found only 2 on9 shops selling Bbox in Malaysia.

tp 1 tu out of stock n harga dia lagi mahal.

yang Joan memang berbaloi.

i can't reveal my price sebab Joan bagi special prices.

dia kata hush-hush je.

hehe.

klik sini for their FB:

Hannunu 

PR Joan is also good!

totally recommended to mommy yang suka membazir macam i.

ha-ha.