++ MiRaCLe MoMeNt ++

Dah 2weeks+ baru rasa nak menulis balik pengalaman bersalin kembar.
Ni pon sbb dah makin hlg details of the event.
Banyak urat putus agaknya.huu...

Tues (4/6/13)
Admitted sbb ngadu kat doc yg 2nd twin kurang gerak.
Details of d story ade kat n3 sebelom2 ni.

Wed (5/6/13)
Pagi2 tu as usual a group of doctors led by Prof Norzi would do ward round.
As they approached me, Prof Norzi terus shook my hand n greeted me happily.
Again, she said "congrats,u have made it this far! Alhamdulillah!"
She told d group of docs yg ada kat situ how she had always given me poor prognosis n almost zero hope thruout my pregnancy.
My case was totally rare n bizzare to her.
>50% discrepancy in sizes from w18.

i asked Prof Norzi kalau boleh discharge on that day.
Prof Norzi cakap tak boleh. I would be admitted sampai deliver.
She said we had taken a lot of risks to drag my pregnancy up to w31.
So dia betol2 nak monitor n make sure i deliver d twins safely.
She even instructed me to start fasting from 12 midnight sampai pagi.
Kalau ada ventilator (waktu tu ada isu ventilator sume penuh), they would prepare me for csect.
Kalau x ada,boleh makan macam biasa.

So i stayed in d hospital.
Wondering to myself bila la agaknya boleh keluar.
That night, Z x datang visit.
I wanted to hv my dinner,
Tapi nasik tumpah atas katil.
Perot lapar, so i munched a packet of biscuts.
Dlm kepala dah susah hati macam mana nak puasa from 12am kalau dinner tak makan.
N ada rasa x sedap hati.
So lepas solat isyak terus baca surah maryam n solat hajat.
Sepanjang preganancy aku selalu buat solat hajat, n that nite i had a feeling yg mcm itu solat hajat terakhir sblom bersalin.
Pujuk hati utk tdo.
Ajaibnya x dela rase kebulur ke apa malam tu walaupun x makan nasik macam selalu...

Thurs (6/6/13)
Woke up before 7 n terus solat subuh.
Habiskan surah maryam yg x sempat habis semalam.
Again, i had a funny feeling that morning.
After subuh ingat nak mandi.
Tp tengok doc dah mula buat ward round.
So i decided to wait for my turn.
N ada nurse dtg nak buat CTG.
Masa tgah buat CTG nurse panggil 2org doctors lain to assist her sebab something was wrong with d readings.
They discussed something.
Smiled awkwardly at me n told me to wait for Prof Norzi.
Prof Norzi came n examined d result of CTG.
Then she said d baby or babies (cant recall) was/were distress n i needed to go for emergency csect immediately.

I was totally in shocked.
I asked abt d ventilators.
Mmg x ada kosong lg.
But then becos the baby was distress, they couldnt send me to other hospitals.

They asked me to inform husband n prepared me for d operation.
Dah la tak mandi.huu.
They changed my outfit, put on d shower cap,
n put on d catherer.
Mmg takut gila masa nak pasang catherer sbb org cakap sakit sgt.
I asked d nurse to be gentle.
Alhamdulillah tak sakit.
Just a feeling of uncomfortable je.

I called Z.
He was at home.
My family pon mmg kat umah dah time tu.
But they were all unprepared as well.
Z tgh tdo.
Bila btau nak kene operate dah,
die siap tanya,"syg main2 ke?"
Haihhh.

I asked him to come to d hosp ASAP.
pastu dengar dia cam ngelabah.
Lepas hang up nurse bg ubat tak sedap.
X tahu utk ape.

I was wheeled to d OT.
Perasaan bercampur aduk.
Dah la sorg2.
Mentally n physically unprepared.
But i was lucky i didnt eat a lot d night before.
Ada hikmahnya nasik tertumpah.

I jumped d queue untuk masuk OT.
Sbb kira my case should b prioritized time tu.

Sampai OT, i needed to change bed.
Da la ade catherer tergantung tu.
I was so anxious n nervous.
Ada pakar bius datang n explained d procedures which i cant remember now.
N nurse dtg bawak documents to sign.
Patutnya hubby atau waris yg sign. But since i was all alone, so sndiri sign.
Ha-ha.
T-T

N then they pushed me to d white room with big lamp.
Haha.
Mcm dlm tv tu.
I think my mind was numb on that morning.
Sbb tengok sume org dlm tu bz preparing everything.
I dunno whether to cry or what.
Mcm dah x tau nak rasa apa.

But bila teringat Zareef...
Hati jadi sebak.

Pakar bius dtg.
Then they helped me to sit straight.
A pillow was given.
Doc ckp peluk bantal tu kuat2.
Die nak cari nerve ke ape tah to inject me.
Nak bg bius separuh badan tu.
Again i was so scared sbb org kate sakit.
Two nurses helped me to bend down.
Aku peluk tgn sorg nurse tu.
Tp alhamdulillah.. X sakit jugak.
Syukur.
N they helped me to lie back on d bed.
Pakar bius waktu tu baik sgt.
She tried to calmed me down.

Aku tanya dia,macam mana nak tau bius tu berkesan ke x.
Sbb aku slalu dgr scary stories org kene bedah mase bius tak function lagi..
Takutttt!
She asked me to wiggle my toes.
Boleh.
Tp bila dia suruh lift up d legs, terasa berat.
Then she said it meant that ubat tu tengah berjalan.

They put a cloth depan my face.
Taknak bagi tgok d whole process la kan.
Doc bius ajak aku sembang2.
But when Doc Idayu letak d knife on my tummy,
Aku rasa pedih.
Automatic aku btau dorg aku rasa pisau.
Huhu.
Then doc bius cakap,
Aku boleh rasa org raba2.
Tapi i wasnt supposed to feel d pain.
Aku cakap aku paham.
But d one i felt earlier was pain.
Doc Idayu letak n gores lagi skali.
I still felt d same pain.
So i let them know again.
Doc bius suruh doc Idayu hold on dulu.
After a minute or so,
I think i was totally sank.
So doc Idayu pon start belah my tummy n i wasnt feel pain at all.
But u can feel they were doing something to d tummy.
Doc bius was there d whole process.
She would letme know what was happening.
Sambil ajak borak2.

N she told me yg dorang dah nak keluarkan my 1st baby.
They ruptured d water bag.
Gussshhhh...
Basah air ketumban meleleh sampai ketiak aku okeh.
N d nurses pon cheered 'banjir!banjir!'

Masa dah keluarkan Malisa aku x dengar pon dia nanges.
I was a bit worried.
Doc bius cakap ada pakar kanak2 kat situ tengah handle my baby n i should not worry.
Aku cuba nak intai apa dorg buat kat baby tapi kain yg dorg letak depan muka tu mmg a big barrier la.

Then Doc Idayu keluarkan 2nd baby.
Dengar dengan jelas Maeisya cried.
Comel sgt bunyinyaaa!
Again x nampak what they were doing to both babies.

Masa nak muka stitching,
Tetibe aku rasa pening n nak muntah.
Aku btau doc bius.
So she checked my pressure n did something.
Lps tu rasa tenang skit.

Habis jahit they cleaned me up.
Masa tu dah half naked je.
N who cares?
Terpaksa jela redha sbb mmg camtu agaknya dorg buat.
T-T

Masa dorg removed d cloth depan muka,
The first thing that came into my sight was my twins.
Tapi x nampak jelas.
Ada 2 org doctors were doing something to them.
But i could hear d nurses were commenting how small they were.
800grammer - what to expect?

Before ditolak keluar,
Pakar kanak2 told me that both of them needed breathing help.
But d hospital did not have enough ventilators.
The babies will have to use yg emergency room punya ventilators.
So kalau ada case mak kena beranak macam aku,nanti d next babies tak ada ventilators at all to support the babies.
They will try to get other ventilators from other hospitals.

Perasaan adalah sedih sebab tak dapat lgsung tgok my babies.
Apatah lagi nak sentuh.

I was left for isolation dlm 30mins.
Lepas tu baru dorg wheeled me back to d ward.

Sampai ward, Z n family tak sampai lagi.
Haihhh.
Dok la aku sorg2 atas katil.
Nurse dtg n btau aku x boleh bangun for d 1st 6hours.
X boleh terus makan.
Kena minum air ksong dulu. Then kalau x muntah boleh try milo.
N kalau boleh trima milo, boleh try makan porridge.
Masa time Zareef dulu aku ingat lagi aku muntah banyak kali after bersalin.
Tp kali ni alhamdulillah Allah mudahkan sumenye.
Aku x muntah langsung n nurse n doc terkejut aku dah makan porridge ptg tu...

Aku kol Z n btau aku dah abes operate pon.
Lepas 15min dorg sampai.
Z n mak muka sayu je sbb aku sorg2 d whole process.
Aku suruh Z tengok twins kat bawah n get some updates.

Itulah pengalaman bersalin secara csect.
Everything happened so fast.
Mmg x rasa sakit masa tu.
Tp post pain dia aku tak boleh lupaaaa.
Biarlah bersalin normal pada aku.

Now dah 2weeks.
Kadg2 sakit masih terasa.
Cuma x macam 1st few days tu la..
Huu scaryyyy!

Malisa n Maeisya,
If one day u two read this,
Mama wants u to know that everything worth it when i delivered both of u to d world.
It was a battle. A gamble.
And mama n papa are proud that we made d right decision n be firm with it.

Zareef, Malisa n Maeisya r d most precious gifts from Allah.

Psst: x tahu la akan bertambah lagi atau x lepas ni. Rezeki Allah, aku terima seadanya... :)