++ BaBySiTTeR ++

so, i sent Zareef to his babysitter on wednesday. it was a sad,gloomy day. i cried a lot on dat day.ok,scratch dat.i cried a lottttt since a few days before....i do understand why mommies cry when they send their kids to nurseries/babysitters!

i put Zareef in his stroller.eventho the house is at 5th floor,but with so many bags,it would be easier+safer to put him in d stroller.but Zareef thought that we were going for a walk when i put him in d stroller.he smiled n laughed at me n i cried like crazy.

he was there for only 4,5hours.i went to nilai to attend a briefing.n when d briefing ended,the sky was so dark n later it rained heavily.there were a lot of thunders n lightnings.u couldn't barely see the road n other cars.but this super mummy sped all the way to see d charming little angel.

when i arrived at kak mas's house,Zareef was sleeping in the buai.as i came near him,i heard that he made sounds.like sobbing sounds in his sleep which broke my heart instantly.he might be very sad n scared being left to someone so stranger to him.when we reached our house,Zareef woke up n he looked around the house with confusing gaze.i came near him n couldn't stop myself from giving him trillion kisses n cried at the same time.Allah knows how much i miss this little kid.

he smiled n laughed at me.n i held him in hands for a long time.i need to send him again on thursday coz i'll be going to nilai againnnnn....but this time around, z will send him coz i'll be out early in the morning.so yesterday, i woke up at 6am while Zareef was still sleeping.at 6.30 i woke him up so that i could breastfeed him.he didn't sleep after that.n when i gave goodbye kisses,again he smiled n laughed at me;showing off his small dimple. :)

n i cried in the car all the way to nilai.n every chance that i got,i would look at his pictures in my handphone.it feels like u are in love with someone.

kak mas said Zareef sleeps better in buai coz he used to startle to every sound around him.yes, Zareef is easily startled by any sounds which explains the reasons why z n i talk in whispering tones,why we silent our hps,why we mute the TV n read the subtitles even for malay movies, n a lot more....hihi..it is in d beginning of his sleep.when he is really in deep sleep,he doesn't really care with what happens around him.but i do understand that kak mas won't be able to hug n sleep with him like what i've done.so i let Zareef sleeps in the buai, but minus the electric box!

i will start sending him to kak mas again by next thursday. d end of my 3months maternity leave.n i'll be going to nilai a lot.i think Zareef will be ok n he will understand why mama leaves him during the day.u'll have me all night long!

things changed.zareef n i need to catch up.we are no longer twin.berkepit doploh4jam.hihi.but i love u Zareef. n i just don't know when will i stop crying when thinking about leaving u.

Zareef n his trunks!mcm nak pindah.

mama's milk

i wonder how this small creature would give a very big impact in my life.