++ KeMBaR 3 ++

Itulah yg kawan-kawan cakap.
Hehe.
Genap 8hari lepas kelahiran Malisa n Maeisya,
Arini KN dah start buka on9 order.

Alhamdulillah.
Allah swt adalah sebaik-baik perancang.
Bertambah lagi keluasan rezeki kami sekeluarga.

Terima Kasih, Ya Allah.

++ 3 ++

10/06/10 - 10/06/13

++ ZaRaS' uPDaTeS ++

D main concern of d twins earlier was there were no ventilators available in HUKM.
D doctors had to call hospitals from south perak down to batu pahat to check for ventilators.
Tapi memang semua penuh.

So my twins were sort of 'squatting' kat Labour Room.
Amazingly,hanya Malisa yg perlukan ventilator.
D small Maeisya depending on CPAP.
So my main concern was that Malisa might be moved to different hospital kalau ada ventilator.

Yesterday morning Z wheeled me to d nicu to visit Zaras.
MasyaAllah.
Maeisya is such a tiny baby.
But then she is very active.
Malisa was sleeping n she looked a bit tired.
I couldnt stand too long.
Enduring d csect post pain was unberable.
T-T

D paed was there,
So i asked her whether Zaras will still need to be moved to other hospitals.
I cant imagine if one is sent to batu pahat,d other 1 to melaka (for example),how am i going to keep up on visiting both of them.

D doctor told me that Zaras r not going to be moved sbb both of them r on CPAP now.
Alhamdulillah.
Lega sgt2.
These two r miracle babies.

When i told Prof Norzi n d team abt d babies' conditions,
They were so happy.
Prof Norzi was a bit shocked how fast Zaras cope with d breathing problem.

Ya Allah. Ya Allah. Ya Allah.
Plz protect n ease my twin daughters' journey.
Ease their pain.
Help them gain d awaiting weight.

++ aLHaMDuLiLLaH ++

06/06/13
10-ish AM (will b updated)

I have given birth to a pair of identical princesses via emergency csect.

Everything happened so fast.
Both of my twins are having breathing difficulties but according to doctors,
They are doing fine.
I hope everything will b fine.

I havent had d chance of touching my own babies.
Dapat tengok dr jauh je.
Z dah masuk nicu n amek gambar wpon x boleh.

I will need to start walking today.
Catherer dah cabut.
Not sure how to bear with d pain.
Nak bangun duduk pon sakit amat semalam.
T-T

Will update more.

Welcome to dunya my princesses...

Nur Zara Malisa - 1.66kg
Nur Zara Maeisya - 800gms

These are d mighty fighters!

++ WeeK 31, WaRdEd n ZaReeF ++

...gambar lama yg mengundang tangisan...

Here r i am.
Being hospitalized for more than 12hours.
Couldnt sleep though.
This is my 2nd time being warded after d 1st one at Pantai Pu3 delivering Zareef.

We went for Doppler n Growth scan earlier yesterday.
Somehow d blood flow result is still d same as last week.
Twin A is now weighing at 1.8kgs n Twin B is at 747gms.
They are growing.
But later when i went down to c another doc,
I told her that somehow i feel twin B has less movements.
Andddd taraaaaaa!
Here i am.
Trus warded!
Dang!

Warded around 1pm cmtu.
They put d ctg thingy on my tummy to check the babies' heart rate.
D doc told me that i cant eat.
Coz if d result is not satisfying,
I will go thru emergency csect in d evening.
D ctg test went on for abt 1 hour due to technical issues.
Patah pinggang.
But Alhamdulillah.
D 1st result was ok.
Doc ckp boleh makan n i was d happiest mommy in the world.
Z tapau my fav lauk from kayu kandar.

After lunch,
They gave me dexa shot.
Kali ni mental wasnt as strong as d previous one.
Terasa sakitnyaaaaa.
Tp xde la nangis.
D pain subsided abt 15-20mins camtu.
But later at nite i started experiencing d post pain.
Kaki kebas.n babies mengeras semacam.
N just now i completed my 4th dexa shot at 3am.

Bila Z balik around 6-ish,
Aku dah mula rasa sunyi.
I havent talked with d neighbouring ward mates sbb dorg sume tgh sakit.
Ade yg tgh bear contractions, ada yg baru lepas deliver..n d one next to me baru balik from labour room.her hubs n relatives didnt look happy n there wasnt any bassinet being wheeled next to her.
X macam org lain yg lepas deliver trus nurses anta baby kat d mommies.

I started texting Z n cried.
D truth is,i miss Zareef n Z damned much.
These past few days Zareef was so clingy to me.
Everynite he would ask me to cuddle him n he would wrap his hand around my neck.
His nose touched my nose.
I miss him.
I miss him badly.
N i started thinking that i need to spend more time with him before d twins are delivered n absorbed every1's attention.

I was crying so bad behind d curtain that i didnt realize d nurse came in to check on me.
She was on shocked seeing me crying n started checking my tummy as she tot i had contractions.
Ha-Ha.

I know i am so fragile right now n this is not good.
Z came at 9.50 with Zareef.
He had to sneak Zareef in.
I started tearing seeing Zareef n couldnt stop kissing his face.
Z brought kfc n i enjoyed watching both of them eating.
I hugged Z while he was eating n played with Zareef at d same time.

They werent long sbb mmg bukan visiting hours.
I wanted to say a lot of things to Z but couldnt utter any words.
Peluk n ciom Zareef like mad n cried like mad.
Haihhhh.
Z kissed me trillion times n i think i wet him with my tears.

I better stop typing all this out.
Banjir lagi ward ni nnnti.

I dont know what to expect after this.
Tomorrow Prof Norzi will come check on me n explain d planning.

I still hope n pray that we can hold on to week 36.
Allah listens.
But i believe He will always have better plannings.

It is already 4.37am.
I barely slept for d past hours.
D newborn babies r crying every 10mins.
Hehe.
A training session for d future twin mommy i guess.

I was abt to sleep just now when i became sentimental all over again.
Looking at d chair Z sat d whole day n d bed Zareef sat on....hmmmm...

For d past hours, there were so many times that i felt hopeless n helpless.
It took me a few minutes to gain back my senses.
What d hell has gotten into me?
Ive been so strong before this to be here at week 31.
In fact the darlings inside are mighty fighters as well!

I have to b honest that twin pregnancy is never easy.
It has taken its toll on me.
Ive been riding d emotional rollercoaster.
One thing that i learnt is my spiritual journey has never been this absolute.
Alhamdulillah.

Till then.
I will update what is going to happen later.
Jurnal for self reference.
:)