Thursday, January 29, 2015

I'm old.

I miss the younger me sometimes.
The good old times where we only need to worry about ourselves and nothing else.

As our age increases, 
Our responsibility towards people around us (and towards ourselves) are getting heavier.

No more sleepless night trying to finish a good novel.
No more movie marathon or late night movies.
No more strolling at the parks.
No more listening to loud musics in the car.

The no more-list could be longer actually.

Now that i'm married with 3kids, 
I spent my leisure time differently. 
Hey wait! Do I still have leisure time?

I noticed that I'm no longer worried about how do I look. 
Whenever Z decided to go out n he gave me like 1hour time to get ready, 
I will just grab anything that iron-less shirts from the wardrobe. 
Then I would pair my outfits with any available head scarfs that I've been wearing a few times in a week. 

That will only take about 15mins time for me to get ready. 
The rest would be me busy getting the kids ready. 
I'm glad that Z would pack the diaper bag and get the bottles, thermos, and milk ready. 
Most of the time, we will utilise 50% of our energy getting ready to go out. 

Life has been super challenging. 
I (sometimes) secretly plan to run away from home.

I know things would never be the same anymore. 
I would never see the world as a place to be young and wild. 
Now i feel that the world is a vulnerable , dangerous place. 
I'm so scared of the challenges that my kids will have to face in this world. 

I think too much about my family. 
Things that I have never bothered before have become my number one world problem. 

N yeap, the old me loves to nag.
I feel darn tired sometimes. 
But still I can nag at petty things. 


I hate my older version. 
How do I change this?

Hey world, could you please slow down a bit? Pretty please...

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