++ MaKeOvEr ++

i think i need a wardrobe makeover.
i need to do some makeover.

i love shawls but having problems on styling them.
it was last time.
now i slowly learn to style my shawl.
not dat overwhelming like hanna tajima.
but i think it is ok for a start.
hihi.

then my taste on outfits r slowly changed.
i think it is d age matter and d FACT that i'm a mommy now.
i need to wear something practical for i need to breastfeed Zareef.
so there r a some favourite outfites that out of my league.
T-T

i fell in love with some gorgeous dresses that
can be worn together with cardigans or inners.
i saw 1 yesterday but was thinking whether i can pull it well or not.
i went back without buying it n dreaming of it!
haih..typical me.
i think i'm going to get 1.
tehee.
i think,being d petite me,
i can wear almost evertything.well,i think.

n i ordered a maxi skirt from dalzbutton [can checkout their fb]
it is custom made so basically it SHOULD fit us well.
still waiting for d delivery.

-gorgeous maxi-

n i had sent 2 baju raya for tailoring last week.
n purchased another 2 online.
2 purple,1 brown n 1 blue.
thinking of having 1 more red tp mcm z akan marah je.hihi.
bought online from Asylla collection.


pasni nak shop shawls,jeans,tops,wedges n handbag.
handbag tu kalu ade rezki la.
hihi.

baju raya zareef da start beli last week kat d curve.
maybe nak tambah sikit-sikit je lagi.
till here then.
mood raya is approaching!
tp puasa tak ganti lgi.
sehati je pon.
but my menstrual cycle macam gelong laa ni.

++ LiVe iT uP ++

heart shatters.
dream flies.
hope leaves.

but life goes on.

alhamdulillah.

:)

++ HoW? ++

how do we mend a broken heart?
i dunno.
i just dunno.

i can't simply forget everything and live my life as if nothing that has ripped my heart had happened.
i can't.
i just can't.

no matter how many apologizes are given,
no matter how hard u cried,
no matter how bad u regretted,
no matter how hard i tried,
no matter u made new vows,
things can't be undone.

YOU have done this.

HOW could YOU....

++ eMpTiNeSs ++

it's kind of weird seeing me posting entries in a row.
but i desperately need a medium to let out my feelings.
i love writing here.
even though i know time to time stupid stalkers will come n visit me.

my feelings are so uncertain right now.
nothing keeps me sturdy except Zareef.

am i devastated?
am i hurt?
am i betrayed?

i answer a yes for every question up there.

Ya Allah.
i've pictured this so many times before in my mind.
but i never thought it would come true!
but then i should pinch myself now to wake me up from dreaming.

there are so many questions thudding in my head.
the most prominent is "WHY?"
i need the answer so that i can stop blaming n cursing myself.

nah Lya.
u shouldn't blame yourself.

fullstop.

hey you.i hope u know that not all broken hearts can be mended.

++ PaPa ++

today is sunday.
z went working half day then he went to play golf.
yeap.that's his hobby.
dlm byk-byk sport apsal la pilih sport org kaya.
he is so addicted to golf.
*puke*
yes.i'm not a supportive wife!
bukan apa,he wasted so much money on golf equipments.
not to mention d time that he spent to go driving n all.
tp nak buat camna.
i can only nag at him n he will smile n crack jokes to make me laugh.

at first i was thinking of buying him a gift that get to do with his hobby.
kayu golf ka,kasut ka...
tapi ya ampunnnn...mahal sgt.
so kansel la.
hahaha.

i hope he read this.
cyg tak suke abg main golf.hahaha.

oh yes!i'm using new template again!
aha.
kunon dah matured la pakai template baru.
hihi.
but seriously i think this simple template suits better with my age.
as if da tua sgt pulak.huh.

n aside from applying for Masters,
i've been thinking to do something else too.
tsk.macam byk masa je nak slip in 1more project into my schedule.
tp niat baik always granted by Allah kan?
i'll try.
this is also one of my dreams.

ok.happy weekend.

++ oF 1 DReaM ++

insyaAllah.
kalau ada rezeki.
baru register on9.
masih berpikir nak apply for the coming sem,
or next sem.

:)

++ tQ ++

thank you to....

• friends yg keep on calling and texting me asking abt my emotional status recently.
• friends yg sudi take me out. fetched me from my apartment n sent me back. puncak alam-seri kembangan-shah alam-damansara-seri kembangan-puncak alam. jauh tu. tenkiu...isk. terharu.
• friends yg offer tuk belikan hadiah for my bb. thanks babes~ :)
• friends yg mahu hang out with me n my tummy.
• families yg keep on calling n texting to check my condition like every few hours. :)
• husband yg belikan makanan, served right in front of me with d drinks. buying food stock, washing the dishes and run the house chores for me.[not to forget d sweet lavender on top of d tv.haihhh.comel sgt kot.smpai terpakse senyum n nanges at d same time]

thank you.

.i love you.

p dot s: salam maulidur rasul :)

++ MoNDaY BLueS ++

waa....esok da isnin!
apekah?
cepat sgt berlalunye
detik-detik indah hujung minggu!

esok ade 2kelas je pon.
tp malasnye!!!
sebab 1st class 10-12pm.
lg 1 kul 5-7pm.
*cry*

bahan-bahan nak mengajar da cukup rasenye.
tinggal nak seru semangat je neh!
naseb baek next week cuti sem!
aku rase nak balek kg awal seket dari kenduri kakak z.
then nak g penang.

i miss penang damned much!
da setahun lebey tak g sane.
insyaAllah, kalau ade rezki,
minggu depan dapat jejak kaki
d sane.

itulah penang
: tempat belajar berlari n terjatuh :
^____^

p dot s : gambar ulang tayang mase slim melim.

++ TaTau ++

haish.
sejak da bukak sem,
mood ade lah swing.
mcm yo-yo pon ade.
when i'm not in d mood,
i definitely will not be able
to do anything!

alhamdulillah,
ketakutan nak deliver sudah ke paras normal.
means,
maseh takut.
cume tade la freaking out mcm last month.
motivationnye of kos la
bayangan bb tomei!
mummy can't wait to cuddle n kiss u bb!!!!!!

ohye.
mcm tak jd beli stroller lg.
psgn ber-anak sumenye pesan stroller bley beli later.
which is after pantang nnti ke.
btol jugak.sbb dlm pantang nak jln ke mane kan.
so z suh beli breast pump dulu.
die kate aku kene usahe breastfeed [BF] bb!
siap nak beli breast pump medela yg riban tuh.
cuak neh cuak neh.
kalu nak BF btol-btol,
kene usaha sungguh.
insyaAllah nak usaha BF kan bb jugak!

life is full with ups n downs.
tapi slalu pesan diri sndiri.
if rase susah,
sebenarnye ramai lg yg lebey susah!
emo jugak kdg-kdg on simple tiny bits.
bear with me,dear!

++ nGeeE ++

rase nak tumbuk je diri sendiri.
baru je post n3 pagi td,
tengahari da g berpoya poya habeskan duet.
hampeh x?

asalnye nak get new hair cut je.
almaklumlah,
sejak ngandong neh malas da nak jage rambut panjang.
so bile masuk salon tu,
cakap nak gunting je.
gunting 30.gunting + cuci 35.
haruslah aku amek cut n wash.
tgah belek2 pale aku,
hairstylist tu kate rambut aku byk gugur.
die kate tgah pale mcm da kurang rambut.
i was like aiyark?
biaq betoi kan.
setahu aku rambut aku mmg tebal.
so die bawak aku scan kulit pale.
uhuh.
ade kotoran minyak pd kulit kepale.
mcm ade flakes.tp bukan dandruff.
so die suggest wat scalp treatment.
treatment+wash+cut =88.
agak berbaloi sbb treatment saje 80.
so aku pon stuju.
lame jugak kat ctu.
bb da tendang tendang ajak mamam.
after siap sume,
wat scan lg skali.
n amazing!
flakes sume da ilang.
die kate kalu rajin bley buat scalp treatment once a month.
amek pakej 5x=300je.
ade rezki insyaAllah aku buat.
sbb rase puas ati.
rambut pon da ringan.
wangi je...
suke suke suke!

then saje masuk sasa.
asalnye nak tanye psl japan bb drink tu je.
tp terkabur mate ngan makeup stuffs.
n terbeli makeup base cyber colors.
salesgurl tu la...
baek sgt melayan aku.
aku mmg tak bley.
T___T
aku pakai mac b4 this.
tp tah nape kulit aku mcm da immune ngan mac.
bile try test cybercolors[cc] td,
rase cam best plak.
hampir terbeli suisse lip scrub n lipstick cc,
tp tak jadi.
tp rase mcm akan g beli plak esok.
susahnye rumah depan jj!

botanical smoothing hydro-base.best gile.
rm 79.90

gemstone aqua-base pudding foundation spf20PA++.best gile gak.
rm89.90

gemstone compact spf40 PA++.juge best!
rm89.90

#sume dpt less 20% rasenye.

huh.
nak abeskan duet kat brg bb plak pehni.
bad mummy betol!

++ QuiCk uPDatEs ++

hello dearies...

i've been promising some of my frens

dat i'll write abt my new workplace.

it's heaven baby.

[for d tym being]

i have a bunch of cool colleagues,

i got no work at all to do.

we r having breakfast in bangi

n lunch in d mines.

then go for movies lg...

life is great.

masuk keje adelah sukati coz

we can actly ask fren to click in/out for us.

=)

but d seniors have been telling this

"enjoy ur time as long as u can"

ha.ha.

after d semester break,

i believe dat it'll b haywire.

so for d tym being,

i better enjoy myself!

yesterday z n i went out to buy wedd stuffs.

i managed to grab lace umbrella.

hoyeh!

n i'll be doing my pending pomander balls.

n yes.

aku terpk konsep arab mase mlm nikah.

nak pakai purdah tu b4 z deliver his kiss!

i dunno.

i think i would want it.

baju nikah da amek.

i love it.

kudos to unaisah.

but i havent bought my tudung nikah yet.

z has almost completed his barang hantaran yestreday.

i think evertyhting is ok.

i fell in love with z again.

seriously.

spending d wiken with him,

n him being d old him,

treating me nicely n put aside his work pressure,

i really cant wait for d 24days countdown.

++ 2 idiots ++

i got irritated by these two men in my life ryte now.
[wish i hope both of u r reading this]

#1st man::

he is scandal of my bff. he WAS my fren too. [note d past tense].then he messed up things n now he's trying to pin d guilty on me.bodoh ke ape?he even called me vavi![bab1]hahaha...i hope i can tell things in detail which i cant.but he's a real messed up. plz la weh.get a life. be a real jantan.ko buat salah,go n admit.dunt blame people.kalu ko jantan sangat jom jupe 4 org.ohyeah.5org.z nakkkkk sgt jupe ko jgk...=)


#2nd man::

this is another stupid man.this is why i posted a status this morning in fb "bile manusia jd hamba cinta,mereka akan jd _____".n people dropped their comments to fill up d blank.=)
i'm not going to go deep in this matter. senang cite,aku saket balek mcm mase nak bertunang dulu.sihir lg.bodo la.aku lg sebulan nak kawen.plz gimme some rooms.to this "lelaki yg sukekan aku tp berdendam sbb aku nak kawen"..aku berikhtiar,aku takkan biar je...n thanks to u bastard.

i'm heppy in my new workplace..=))

to two idiots:plz dunt show up on my wedding days.aku takkan halalkan sebutir nasik or settis air pon utk korg.

++ uPDaTeS ++

heee....

been so bz n neglecting my blog!
huh.



excuse this bz bride, will yeah?
=)

some quick updates...

#1 unaisah has emailed d designed for my reception dress.

she went to the jakel herself n bought d materials for me.

3days later she showed me two designs n asked me to choose.

n i picked a simple dress with mermaid tail...=p

#2 alhamdulillah, today i managed to find a tailor to tailor z's coat.

n suprisingly his price is very affordable n his work is well known among

kuala kangsarians for baju melayu.

[sorry for d new words.=)]

#3 i managed to complete bakul bunga telur, favor for solemnization, n bekas gelang + bekas cincin. n tomorrow i will continue to tidy up the house.

#4 i did scaling last week.now i have beautiful n clean teeth.=)

#5 i did my new hair style.n feel so sexy...=p

#6 to frens...plz drop ur address ok?i want to post d invitation cards....=)

[blom ade mase nak scan card.maaf ye.]

ohye.aritu nampak ct kat jj ipoh.hiks.

ohye.ade utang tag yg blom dilangsai.nnti ek.

=)

++ KaD KaWeN ++

ehee.
kad kawen da siap.
perasaan adelah nervous mcm mase
kene bjalan depan ramai org nak ke plamin
tym bertunang dulu.
apekah?

i hope everything is ok.
plz let it be ok

diz is an emotional week for me.
final week being a teacher.
final week meeting great friends here.
final week meeting d crazy students.
final week in kelapa sawit,kulaijaya,johor.
sempat jadi org johor 6bulan!

i couldnt hold my tears back
when saying gudbye to some good frens.
there were a lot of hugs n kisses.
n me wiping tears.

even the students were holding their tears.
i dont realize that they love me.
since i'm a fierce teacher.
so i tot all students might hate me.

n now it's d end,
i feel sad.
gudbye dearies.
thanks for all the priceless experiences.

i might stop blogging for a while.
coz i'm moving to serdang.
n b4 i can bounce on d new life,
i need to settle everything.
will c u soon.
hopefully by dat tym being
i'll b able to blog abt my wedding dresses.
=)

plz pray for me n my new work place.
new frens.
new adventure.
new cycle.
new life.


i luv diz pic.i luv his strong arms.

it portrays d idea of him being my protector, my life saviour.
n with God's will,
i'm going to be nearer to d owner of d strong arms.
n within 55 days,
i'm going to be in those strong arms.
=)

++ WiLL i? ++

incik jam.
can u please stop ticking for a while?
cause u are making me nervous.
62 days to d big day?
with no wedding dress,
dem.i don't feel excited at all.

owh.
i only realize that after wedding,
z n i will be living together under 1 same roof.
means i'll need to prepare everything for him.
this never bothered me before.
cause before i got upm offer,
i thought that we are going to live separately.

i was too busy preparing d wedding
that i've forgotten d most important thing is:
wife's responsibilities.

oh my my.
what worry me d most is my cooking.
i know that z is not too fussy about food.
but i am worried.
hm.can i use d word terrified?

i can cook.
i love to cook.
but i don't have d skills.
sometimes it turns out good.
n sometimes it becomes a disaster.
lack of practice maybe?

since i was small,
we have maid at home.
different maids up till i was 18years old.
so i don't have to cook.
i do help mum in d kitchen.
but skills cannot be absorbed through observation.
they need to be practiced!

i'll learn.
i'm sure i can learn fast.
just like my sister.
her cooking is almost like mum's now.
i can be like them.
i must to.

how will it feel to be a wife?
how will it feel to be z's wife?
=)


ehee.diz cartoon is funny.

++ uS ++

love lies.
it never blossoms all d tyms.
most of d tym u need to get thru
d bumping n winding route.

ppl change n dats including my beloved fiancee.
since he started working,
he changed a lot.
n he changes even more now.
do i change too?
or should i change?

i dunno.
some frens keep on telling me
dat i shuld see things from d bright side.
but i cant be dat +ve all d tyms.
i guess when money comes in,
d attention moves out.

he's been soooo bz working day n nite.
n i mean it.
day n nite.
sumtimes he worked from 8am-8am.
24hrs or more.

he doesnt have d tym to pampered me as he used to.
no more "no-purpose" sms.
no more telling stories.
no more babbling stuffs dat we do daily.
no more sweet bubble talks.
no more flirty-dirty talk.
aha.kiddo.

i miss him.
i miss him a lot.
i miss him.d old him.

he used to be so funny.
he used to crack stupid jokes.
he used to annoy me with millions ways.

n now i'm annoyed by his work.
n i dunt hv d heart to tell him diz.
he said he loves his job.
blurgh.

i should be more supportive.
think more abt d money he earns.
evil.

should behave more like a big girl.
n big girl doesnt cry.
she just cries silently in her heart.

i love u syg.
despite d rambling writing here.
i hope u noe dat.

++eDiSi BuMpEr ++

it's been so long i stopped blogging.
diz was 1 hectic week for me.
byk gilak keje.
everytime i switch on d laptop,
my eyes will shut down.hahaha.

actly i'm still thrilled abt moving to upm serdang!
it's like a dream come true!
reasons?

1. it's in serdang baby!near to my future hubby.so we r going to live together after d wedd.no PJJ![pengantin jarak jauh]
2. d opportunities that UPM r offering me.UPM will sponsor us[d educators there] to further studies in Masters n PhD.isn't dat great?
3. it's a permanent job.not a contract n hey,i'm still working under government n entitled for all d privilleges.
4. d salary is higher.alhamdulillah.it hits my target.it will be more than 2.5k.
5. i'm not a cekgu anymore.=p
6. i can wear any formal working attire.atleast no more baju kurung mon-friday.

alhamdulillah!syukur atas rezki kurniaan Allah.

btw,preps for wedding r still on progress.
during d 1week school holidays,
i've bought some of the items for d big day.
also, z n i went to nilai to buy d wedd favours for his side.
i've also bought d ring for z
n booked myself a bracelet.

yesterday my mum called me,
telling me dat she splurged 3k at ssf n kk home deco.
i dunno wut she bought
n was really surprised with d amount.
isk isk isk.
now i know from where did i inherit diz splurging habit.

a few things still buzzing my head.
d wedding attires!
aha.smpai skrg maseh jalan buntu.
adekah tade baju bersanding nnt?

n i'm looking for a house to rent near upm area.
sbb after a month working there,
z will move in with me.
not to mention,
i need to buy the necessities for d house.
gonna start from scratch sbb both z n i tade assets.

korang bg adiah set perabot rumah bley?

++ ReZeKi PeNgaNTiN ++

diz few weeks,
aku asik saket saket.
from 1 to another.
smpai da rase putus ase.
tp atas semangat loved ones,
aku rase kuat jugak tuk tempuh sume neh.

d latest,i got some allergic symptoms
on my face n some parts of d body.
my lips r numb n very dry.
n very itchy.
small dots appeared in d eyes area.
n again,they r very itchy too.
my face somehow looks like it is slightly bigger;
due to the bengkak.
doc said im allergic to something.
i've taken d medicine but still no different.
so maybe i should take for an injection later on.

i am totally depressed wif my health condition.
i am so freaking worried!
plz doakan aku sehat n walafiat ok!

luckily there's 1 news dat spice up my mood today!

i still remember when z broke d news,
abt him moving back to kl in early feb...
we both were so sad.
i bet he wanted to cry when he heard my voice
on d other line.
n today,
he said he wanted to cry when i told him d news.
i'm moving to upm serdang.
received a letter today that i made it for d interviews.
syukur Alhamdulillah!
mungkin ni ganjaran selepas byk dugaan!
i'm going to upm...soon!=)



n diz is a picture of my first trial on pomander balls.
i couldnt find the sphere polystyrene.
pandai pandai je acu bunga tu smpai jd bulat n ikat ngan dawai.
agak buruk since 1st tym buatkan.
but i'm going to give diz to my bestfren in johor.
die hampir menanges bile dpt tahu aku akan pindah kl.
=(

++ oF gYnaE n OphtaL ++

td pegi ke pantai pu3 utk bertemu dgn gynaecologist.

bertanyekan ttg menstrual cycle aku tuh la.

jd lepas bincang bincang,

doc suggest aku sumthing.

n aku pon setuju la...

insyaAllah,tym kawen bukan tym peod.

=D.hiks.

then doc ajak aku scan rahim.

ok.sgt teruja.

wahal bukan ade baby pon.

hahaha.

tp cam bes la.

die tunjuk tunjuk sume.

n alhamdulillah.

rahim aku normal n tade masalah.

bley lahirkan babies cumel n manyak manyak tuk z!
=p

she even suggested me to take acid folic

at least 3months before planning on to have babies.

tp wat mase neh aku n z blom pk smpai ctu.

sbb kami pon after kawen akn berjauhan.

so nnti la dulu.

tp kalu kot da rezki nnti,alhamdulillah.

then ke ipoh specialist utk berjumpe ophtalmologist.

pasal mate aku yg mcm ade bengkak nanah.

n surprise surprise.

i need to undergo a minor surgery.

aduhhhh.

lemah lutut aku dengar.

aku mmg tamo.

so for d tym being amek ubat titik dulu.

then tgok la cmne.

aku tamo operate.

doc cakap mmg takpe sbb bukan cancer o pape.

tp z bising suh buang jugak.

smpai terbergaduh la ngan z td.

aku tahu die marah sbb bimbangkan aku.

tp aku takuttttt sgt!

so ntah la.

juz arap ngan ubat titik neh die bley surut!

amin.

ok.tata.

=)

++ MenStrUaL cYcLe ++

knowing dat i'm getting married,
i've started observing my cycle since last yer.

towards d end of d yer,
i found dat it hit in d middle of d month.
around 14,15 or 16th...

then early diz yer in january,
it hit on 13th...

n for february n march,
it hit on 10th...
uiks.jackpot.

10 adelah hari nikah ok.
if it maintains d cycle,
surely i'm having period during
d 4days of my weddings days.
[10-13th of june]

bley meroyan aku.
bukan meroyan sbb tak dpt
melaram lasenza nighties or
x dpt itut..
we got d whole life time for dat bebeh.

tp masalahnye adelah PMS.
sejak sejak nak kawen neh,
gejala PMS adelah musuh utama aku.
a few days b4 d day,
aku akan sakit pinggang ke bawah.
kaki lenguh mcm nak tercabut.
pinggang sakit mcm nak putus.
kdg kdg sakit bahu mcm baru lepas wrestling.
sungguh tak paham.
masuk kelas aku akan tarik kusi ke tengah n duduk.
aku tak bley nak aktif mcm slalu.
mood tak usah cite la.
muke mcm baru lepas branak kembar 10.
n not to mention d pimples yg sebuk nak tingok dunia.
hadui.

sblom neh tade la mcmni sgt.
kdg kdg je aku kene period pain.
tp sgt jarang la.
tp da dekat dekat nak kawen neh baru jd camne.
adekah hormon bley mentafsir naluri keisterian n keibuan aku?
lantas menduga tahap kesabaran aku?

a few days before d wedding dates
r d most important days.
i read d once b2b blogs...
mmg tym tuh la baru nak
prasan mcm mcm bende tak cukup!
tym tym tuh la b2b jd runner ke sane cni.
stamina kene kuat!
tp aku tym PMS adelah tym terbaring lesu...
=(

n dgn baju solemnization yg light gold,
isk risaunye kot tetibe ade perisa laen karang.
plus muke yg berjerawat besar flowerhorn,
mungkin akan menyebabkan
org mekap nyumpah nyumpah dlm ati.

aiyaya.
risaunye i.
tp ade yg cakap kdg kdg
peod tak dtg sbb terlalu stress.
atau maybe dtg lebey awal dari actual date.
jd aku kene stress gegile supaye die tak kene tarikh kawen.
or maybe i should juz change d dates
n kene lempang ngan z.hahaha.