++ HeLLo ++

hello march.
i was on hiatus for some time to find peace of mind.
kdg2 x sangka ade manusia yg bila kita cakap elok2 x nak dgr.
but when we used harsh words baru nak paham.

ok.lets just forget about it.
lantok die la meroyan sorg2.
alhamdulillah aku dah pilih jalan terbaik utk menggapai impian n cita2..

now nak fokus on 2nd manuskrip.
alhamdulillah publisher bg good review on TKC.
dorg motivate for 2nd manuskrip plk.
alhamdulillah.
skrg sedang mencari mood.
sbb aku adelah takde mood.

im already in my 18th week.
i did go to demc on 25th feb.
masih benda yg sama.
d doc detected significant growth rate difference between both babies.
tp still x dapat identify d actual cause.
too soon,too small.

so doc tanye aku nak keep checkup with demc or refer to gov hosp.
aku pilih hukm sbb kat demc sekali checkup rm200.
kalau sebulan sekali x pe jugak.
ni my case is a bit rare.
so doc ckp akan jumpe as frequent as every fortnight or weekly.
so we opted for hukm sbb one of my colleagues told me that her sil pon twin pregnancy with same problem macam aku.
besar kecik ni..
at first they went to pantai medical centre.
tp dorg pon opted for hukm due to financial concern.
alhamdulillah,after close monitoring...
last 2weeks dah selamat deliver pon.

yesterday i went to hukm.
dkt 3jam baru settle..
sgt lama hokkay.
1st time checkup kat hosp gov.
sakit pinggang.
doc hukm pon blum boleh identify anything.
possibilities tu ade la doc listed down.

nxt two week kena dtg for detailed scan.
d following week jumpa doc pakar dia..

aku rasa aku dah sgt2 down for d past 1month.
people become excited when they know that im carrying twins.
pastu selalu plk tanya ok ke x..
so i honestly jawab d babies' conditions.
x pasal2 ade yg nanges depan aku sebab sedih.
ayat2 simpati n pandangan mata yg kuyu2 tu dah selalu sgt dah..
alih2 aku plk yg put on my fake smile n assured them that I AM OK.
padahal dlm hati hujan tsunami...

slagi larat aku buat solat hajat..
lama2 ati rasa tenang n sgt +ve.
i joined kelab dianugerahkan kembar on fb.
talking to those experience twin mothers calm me a lot.
ade yg had d same experience n dah selamat pon deliver both babies.
alhamdulillah.
i hope my journey will b at ease jugak.

both babies active during d scan.
gender pon dah tau..
:)
dah tau masa kat pantai pu3 actually.
ni dah 3x diconfirmkan gender.

babies...
mama syg dua2..
nak dua2..
mama n papa non stop praying for u both.
i want to hold both of u in my arms.
raise up both of u..

yet Allah knows d best for us.
apa pun yg Allah has planned for us,
i am thankful for this experience.

you both will always be my babies.